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Mary-Sues. This is just a small example to keep in mind while creating an OC. |
Mary-Sues. This is just a small example to keep in mind while creating an OC. |
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| − | This is not an actual character. Apologies if I used a name the same as your OCs, please just ignore that |
+ | This is not an actual character. Apologies if I used a name the same as your OCs, please just ignore that. |
| − | To help you out if you're a new writer or don't understand the way Mary |
+ | To help you out if you're a new writer or don't understand the way Mary Sue works, I've written some additional points below which will help you out. |
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| − | considered Mary-Sue-ing. The reasons will be written at the bottom of every sector and will be marked like this: |
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| − | ''{the reason here}'' |
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| − | Kirei Aiko is a child of Uchiha Misa and Hyuga Chikamasa. Her parents have moved out of Konoha when her mother was pregnant and settled outsideof the village. When Kirei was 5, both of her parents were killed when someone came and attacked them at night. She was the only one left alive, because she defended herself using the mix of Sharingan and Byakugan. The murderer turned out to be someone with connections to the Akatsuki. Upon seeing her potential, he has informed the Akatsuki leader, who ordered the man to kidnap her. On the way, she has escaped and fled to Konoha, where she was taken into the local orphanage where she met Naruto and Sasuke whom she made friends with immidietely. She was hated as a child and everyone was quite scared of her, because of her Bloodline Limit. There have been several assassination attempts, but they all failed because she kept on killing the ANBU who came for her. |
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| − | With time, Orochimaru heard of her skills. He ordered a group of ninjas to track her down and bring her to him. The only thing in the way was the Akatsuki, who were also after her, and the people of Konoha, who promissed to defend her at all costs. |
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| − | {''So far we have a very popular background story... Yeah yeah, she's an orphan, she nearly died, everyone hates her, she's a sad little abandoned puppy... BUT! She makes friends with the canons. <- something is off,don't you think so? It's sort of making her a replacement of Sakura, or even looks like the creator is trying to make herinto the main character of the Naruto Series D:< So she's what, 7? 8? and she killed a bunch of ANBUs and some random guy who has connections with the Akatsuki. So by the time she'll be 15 she's goning to be Kage level? <-Booooooorrrriiiiing+ cliche. That just spoils the whole thing. '' |
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| + | Kirei Aiko is a child of Uchiha Minoru and Hyuga Haruka. Her parents moved out of Konoha when her mother was pregnant, setteling in the country, hoping to protect their daughter. When Aiko was 5, a group of shinobi came and attacked the house, wanting to kill Aiko because of 10 Tails she has been born with. Her parents were killed, and she was the only one left alive, killing the attackers. She fled to Konoha where she was taken into the local orphanage where she met Naruto and Sasuke whom she made friends with immediately. She was hated as a child and everyone was quite scared of her, as she often killed the children who were bullying her. Several assassination attempts have been made, but they all failed because she kept on killing the ANBU who came for her. With time, Orochimaru heard of her skills and began making plans of kidnapping her, equally likewise to the Akatsuki, who were also after her. Upon hearing the news, the people of Konoha promised to defend her at all costs. |
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| − | ''Now her parents. So... Hyuga and Uchiha mix? I have seen a couple of these, some were pretty impressive! So, nothing wrong with that as long as it's logical and not 'magical'. So if you plan on using this, maybe make it that she looses alot of chakra on it, or maybe it makes her normal vision worse? Perhaps she's better and one than the other? Or maybe she can have just one, and a bit of the other. So maybe she can use the Byakugan but can't use the other techniques, and instead of Sharingan she ca only use their jutsus?'' ''Anyway, they are both dead. Oh, how tragic!'' |
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| − | ''And lastly... Why is everyone after her? The Akatsuki is after the Tailed Beasts, not little girls with magical skills. What, she's supposed to be a member? Ok, but this also needs to have a plot. So don't make it something like... "Itachi killed her parents but he fell in love with her so he took her to the Akatsuki because of her skill." <- that's a big no-no and Out Of Character acting (Itachi does't have much feelings, so I highly doubt he would just randomly fall in love. Of course, I have seen alot of wonderful storylines with really good ideas about relationships. So just because your OC is in love with an Akatsuki member and vice-versa, doesn't nescessairly make them a Mary-Sue.}'' |
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| ⚫ | Aiko is often described to be quite beautiful, which is also indicated by her name and surname. Her name was given to her by Kakashi when she refused to join neither Hyuga or Uchiha clan after they were fighting for her. She has two different eyes, one containing Sharingan, while the other has Byakugan. Aiko has waist-long black hair with purple highlights in it and porcelain pale skin. She is usually seen wearing a black knee-lenght kimono, tied with a red obi and black ankle-length ninja shoes. Many girls tend to get jealous over her incredibly petite figure and giant boobs and hips, while she doesn't care what she eats. Ino often stalks her to see if she really doen't excercise or starve herself in order to maintain her looks. |
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| − | == Personality == |
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| − | Aiko is usually under control, and she is quite confident when she needs to be. She always analyzes the situation and thinks before she does something. She can become extremely hyper sometimes. Quite charming, she is careful with her actions as she does not like attention that she gets. She doesn't get jealous and blows things off easily, making her universal to her situation. She knows the solution to almost every problem and never has any difficulties getting to where she wants to be. She never loses her cool and lacks the ability to embarass herself. |
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| + | ''Yes, yes... The original gothic lollita beauty that everyone loves and adores. Two different eyes, purple streaks, pale skin, flawless figure. HOW BORING CAN SHE GET?!'' ''Do not forget that she'd most likely also recieve the ''[http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Hy%C5%ABga_Main_Family%27s_Juinjutsu ''Hyuga Mark'']''. Yes, your beautiful beauty-chan will be walking around with a green mark on her forehead. I don't think Hyuga clan would just let her walk around with Byakugan unprotected like that...But with a Sue everything is possible, right? Make her fat, or make her have a weird nose. Or something! Skin problems <3 Hair fail! Or maybe her brain won't be reflecting her appearance? Or the other way around? Come on, be creative! Maybe you know someone in real that you can inspire your OC's appearance on? Think about it :) Even everyday people on the bus :p'' |
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| ⚫ | Aiko is often described to be quite beautiful, which is also indicated by her name and surname. Her |
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== Abilities == |
== Abilities == |
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| − | Aiko is able |
+ | Aiko is able to use Sharingan and Byakugan on extremely high levels. She graduated the academy at the age of 4 and became a Chunin at the age of 5. By the age of 8 she was asked to become Hokage. Most of her skills are unknown to many, due to her being trained in private and individually by Kakashi and Gai. Gai mentioned at some point when she was a genin that she is above his level at Taijustu, and Kakashi's with the Sharingan. She is extremely fast, which is why it is easy for her to avoid her enemy from reading her moves. She can copy bloodline limits. Aiko has unlimited chakra because of the Ten Tails inside of her. She can control the Ten Tails without a problem, and the demon is always protecting her. She has all the five chakra elements. |
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| − | == '''<u>''Additional Points ''</u>''' == |
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| + | ''Oh hell yeah... Just make her the Hokage of the Naruto universe, since you just made her more powerfull than all the Kages put together. Not to mention that at the moment Mei (the Mizukage) is the only known shinobi with two Kekkei Genkai's (and she's definitely not flawless, that's why we all love her :D)... If you are going to use the idea, do make it a good one. Maybe she can't do melee attacks? Maybe she's can only do range? Maybe she's defensive style only, attacking when it's least risky? Maybe she sucks at defence, but because she has something that lets her regenerate if she buys enough time? There are millions of possibilities! :o'' |
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| − | *Always be careful with pairings. Keep the OOC (out-of-character) to a minimum, unless you have a ''really'' good idea for it. |
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| + | [[Category:Stuff for Writers]] |
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| − | *Keep your OC at a human level - no demons, nekos, random animals, elves, vampires, werewolves... Unless it's a specific AU (alternate universe) or Crossover fic. |
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| + | [[Category:FINAL]] |
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| − | *Avoid bright, differing colours in genetics. Clashing colours in hair, or two differently coloured eyes. Avoid "eyes change colour according to mood" at all costs. |
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| − | *If possible, also avoid random relative of a canon character. It doesn't have to be bad, but it's way overdone, and easily gets the label of Mary Sue/Gary Stu even if you do develop your character. Be cautious with this. |
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| − | *Avoid generic names, Western names, and otherwise inappropriate names. Googling some Japanese names will get you better results than plucking out a name from already existing Naruto characters. |
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| − | *Mental and physical illnesses are fine, but make sure you do your research. Mistakes with depicting an illness can offend people. |
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| − | *Flaws are a big plus. Be sure to elaborate on them just as much as the good points of your OC. |
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| − | *If you want your OC to develop over time, you'll want to avoid sticking to one personality. Remember, Sasuke used to be adorable once. It's the events that shape people. |
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Latest revision as of 15:22, 30 April 2014
Please note, that this is just an example of a classic Mary-Sue. I am not saying that if your OC has these traits, they are Mary-Sues. This is just a small example to keep in mind while creating an OC. This is not an actual character. Apologies if I used a name the same as your OCs, please just ignore that. To help you out if you're a new writer or don't understand the way Mary Sue works, I've written some additional points below which will help you out.
Kirei Aiko (きれい 葵子 meaning "beautiful lovechild").
Background
Kirei Aiko is a child of Uchiha Minoru and Hyuga Haruka. Her parents moved out of Konoha when her mother was pregnant, setteling in the country, hoping to protect their daughter. When Aiko was 5, a group of shinobi came and attacked the house, wanting to kill Aiko because of 10 Tails she has been born with. Her parents were killed, and she was the only one left alive, killing the attackers. She fled to Konoha where she was taken into the local orphanage where she met Naruto and Sasuke whom she made friends with immediately. She was hated as a child and everyone was quite scared of her, as she often killed the children who were bullying her. Several assassination attempts have been made, but they all failed because she kept on killing the ANBU who came for her. With time, Orochimaru heard of her skills and began making plans of kidnapping her, equally likewise to the Akatsuki, who were also after her. Upon hearing the news, the people of Konoha promised to defend her at all costs.
Appearance
Aiko is often described to be quite beautiful, which is also indicated by her name and surname. Her name was given to her by Kakashi when she refused to join neither Hyuga or Uchiha clan after they were fighting for her. She has two different eyes, one containing Sharingan, while the other has Byakugan. Aiko has waist-long black hair with purple highlights in it and porcelain pale skin. She is usually seen wearing a black knee-lenght kimono, tied with a red obi and black ankle-length ninja shoes. Many girls tend to get jealous over her incredibly petite figure and giant boobs and hips, while she doesn't care what she eats. Ino often stalks her to see if she really doen't excercise or starve herself in order to maintain her looks.
Yes, yes... The original gothic lollita beauty that everyone loves and adores. Two different eyes, purple streaks, pale skin, flawless figure. HOW BORING CAN SHE GET?! Do not forget that she'd most likely also recieve the Hyuga Mark. Yes, your beautiful beauty-chan will be walking around with a green mark on her forehead. I don't think Hyuga clan would just let her walk around with Byakugan unprotected like that...But with a Sue everything is possible, right? Make her fat, or make her have a weird nose. Or something! Skin problems <3 Hair fail! Or maybe her brain won't be reflecting her appearance? Or the other way around? Come on, be creative! Maybe you know someone in real that you can inspire your OC's appearance on? Think about it :) Even everyday people on the bus :p
Abilities
Aiko is able to use Sharingan and Byakugan on extremely high levels. She graduated the academy at the age of 4 and became a Chunin at the age of 5. By the age of 8 she was asked to become Hokage. Most of her skills are unknown to many, due to her being trained in private and individually by Kakashi and Gai. Gai mentioned at some point when she was a genin that she is above his level at Taijustu, and Kakashi's with the Sharingan. She is extremely fast, which is why it is easy for her to avoid her enemy from reading her moves. She can copy bloodline limits. Aiko has unlimited chakra because of the Ten Tails inside of her. She can control the Ten Tails without a problem, and the demon is always protecting her. She has all the five chakra elements.
Oh hell yeah... Just make her the Hokage of the Naruto universe, since you just made her more powerfull than all the Kages put together. Not to mention that at the moment Mei (the Mizukage) is the only known shinobi with two Kekkei Genkai's (and she's definitely not flawless, that's why we all love her :D)... If you are going to use the idea, do make it a good one. Maybe she can't do melee attacks? Maybe she's can only do range? Maybe she's defensive style only, attacking when it's least risky? Maybe she sucks at defence, but because she has something that lets her regenerate if she buys enough time? There are millions of possibilities! :o