Talk:Akami Yuhi/@comment-5053045-20120819233648

Darling! XD its been too long.

I have some concerns as to how your oc goes, once more.

First thing that caught my attention was her background. Again. Its ok for her to become friends with Gaara but I find that is soooo cliché (I've seen that is so many other people's oc that it is a Mary-Sue trait). He was considered a monster. He wasn't supposed to have any Friends. That would bend the canon.

Also I noticed that her parents died. :/ In a terrible accident. Cliché once more.

She's a member of the "Dark Angels"? What is that? Angels do not technically exist in the Narutoverse (with exception to Shion in Naruto: Shippūden the Movie. But even so I think that was a VISION not the real deal)   Plus the name just sounds too emo. Sorry, but come on now, did you even try on that part?

The hair. The colors. Its all so....dark. Emo, Gothic, you name it; its not common in the Naruto universe. Her hair bothers me most. Even if it was an accident, neon does not blend in. Its terrible on ninjas, I even find Naruto's to be strange.

Her abilities are quite overly powerful. Ravens? Hasn't Itachi already got crows covered? They're basically the same bird, so I don't think its right to use ravens. The kekkei-genkai itself just needs a restart. Its.... I can't even start to explain what's bothering me with it. Its too dark. EVERYTHING about this woman is too dark. Its all so cliché.

Finally, her love for Gaara. I have no problem in this, just change the Part l thing. Gaara would never show mercy. Trust me. She should be dead. XD But what else bothers me is that their relationship just doesn't seem to fit... I'm not sure how, but it just doesn't add up. I suppose you can leave it alone, but I think its the way you wrote it that bothered me. Its not realistic.

All in all, her appearance bugs me most. Its too dark for the Narutoverse. Her abilities are a close second. Too dark. Its just not Naruto-ish. Her relationship with Gaara seems a bit OOC for him but I think its possible.

Tips:

Background: At least give her a considerably happy life.

Appearance: Needs color. NOT neon. No neon stripe in hair. And for the love of all things good, stop putting black and red together. It just screams Gothic.

Abilities: Change kekkei-genkai. Its fine that she can SUMMON ravens, she just shouldn't do that weird half-raven form thing in the kekkei-genkai....Its too much. Everything else I'll just bite my lip and accept.

Relationship: Keep it simple. Keep it realistic. Make SURE that Gaara isn't being OOC.

Kay. That was all. :) Toodles.