Talk:Akasuna Kasumi

You have some serious clashes there... I suggest re-reading your article and making appropriate edits.

First of all, the whole 'Fukon no Jutsu' is simply Sharingan. "She is the only known living person to ever know the secrets of the copy techinque" Sharingan's well most known ability is to copy techniques, except other Kekkei Genkai.

"She is the youngest member ever recruited by the Akatsuki, being 16 at the time." Speaks for itself. And Itachi was 13 when he was recruited (Madara came to him the night before the Uchiha Massacre, see his background.)

"The whole entire village was destroyed, and her family, along with others, were killed... Kasumi, who was devastated, ran away from her destroyed home" <- how exactly? Remember that Konoha probably would use some pretty strong shinobi, so do make sure your plot has sense... "With it, the user was nearly invinciable. For the first time in her life, Kasumi showed an intrest in training. She was able to use the technique without any problems when she was 15, her third year after being orphaned". <- within 1 year? Come on... She's only a Genin. 1 year because you said that she found it after 2 years of being out, and 3 years later she began working as an assassin. I think a child that is most likely undernourished (since she cant afford to buy art stuff, I assume she doesn't steal?), alone and only graduated the Academy, would have difficulties to master a jutsu in such a short time.

"Madara announced that he knew of her past, and her dislike of Konoha and he explained that he, too, wanted to destroy Konoha. ( As well as the rest of the ninja world)". <- that's not Madara's goal... Research before you write. Also, do you really think he would just randomly show himself to some person he doesn't even know properly? There are jutsu's that transfer information, you know? It'd be pretty dangerous for him, I doubt this would happen.

"Kasumi worked as the Akatsuki's "maid", cleaning and cooking and a lot's of other chores since she was "far too valuable to gamble on the battle field" and Kasumi agreed to that..."<- The Akatsuki doesn't have a 'house' where they live. If she's so valuable then why is she sitting around, is she's so powerfull she should be going after the Tailed Beasts.

"She is the only one who dares to argue with Uchiha Madara and gets away with it" <- Sasuke did it all the time. So does Kabuto.

"That is why it is very important, when on missions for the Akatsuki, she has at least one other person with her, so they can fight them first. Everytime she goes into battle, she tries to copy her opponent's abilities to use in the future. When she is using her copy technique, her eyes change." <- I thought she doesn't fo on missions because of being too valuable? Yet you said she's very powerfull at the same time, and that Fukon makes the user nearly invincible.. How long does it take to copy a jutsu?

Sue. I'm sorry, but clashing assets do make Sues. You have some major writting errors there. Always research anything from the Naruto series that you want to use. Please revise your character and edit as needed. Do remember that Mary-Sues go against the Guidelines.

xStarcandy 22:09, January 4, 2011 (UTC)