Talk:Haruno Kano/@comment-5053045-20140605213309

I specialize in RPG characters that follow the timeline of the current Narutoverse. No alternates, no next/gen.... And I can only critique fanfiction characters so long as they follow the rules of the canon Narutoverse.

So... This one I'm having some trouble with.

We all know that self inserts are a sin in OC creating, so that's my first red flag in this character. My second and most prominent red flag is that you mentioned a past life...? Why? That bothers me so much, you have no idea. I would just prefer to see him as a simple OC for Naruto... No complicated plots, no over excessive details...

Alright. Now that that's out of the way, I'll get to what you really wanted me to do. Critique the abilities/appearance, etc...

Background: Again with the "past life". Why? You might as well start up an entirely different story with the way you made this OC. This isn't even about Naruto anymore.

But onto his life as a legit Naruto OC... I don't mind that he's a Haruno; it's even a rare trait in OC's nowadays. c:

If Kano is so mature for his young age, why would he start practicing his genjutsu on civilians and bystanders? That sounds more like bullying to me. And this goes to the point where the Hokage himself (a busy man, who would have preferrably just sent a small squad of ANBU to confront this kid) comes to greet the FOUR YEAR OLD himself.

Do you remember being four years old? You probably just learned how to talk only one year prior. I really doubt that this kid, at just four years old, would be able to perform a genjutsu powerful enough to mess with people. And for no reason, no motive. Because apparently he didn't want to become a shinobi?? That's a bit hypocritical, methinks, for him to practice the art of genjutsu if he doesn't want to be a shinobi. So far, this "mature" kid isn't looking so mature.

So, he joins the Academy (because Bell threatened to kill two canon characters??!) and becomes a child prodigy... I'm not sure what to say about this, but it's a red flag for sure.

Personality: If you're going to keep adding things that make him "emotional and paranoid", you might as well take out the calm of his personality. The rest of his personality goes on about how carefree and childlike he is, when you just got finished explaining that he got into the Academy mainly because of his mature attitude. He seems to be contradicting himself a lot. That is a Sue quality; please be careful.

Appearance: I've been giving a lot of slack about appearances lately. This seems okay. :)

Abilities: So, he became a prodigy by cheating and using his knowledge from his "past life" as A GIRL NOT FROM THE NARUTOVERSE. How would this knowledge help him? Why is he even allowed to remember his past life? Oh, that's right. Because this is a self insert....

I won't say anything about his graduating of the Academy in such a short time or his becoming of a Jonin at a young age because of the argument that so many canon characters have done the same. But it still bothers me. He only got this far by cheating and using his past life skills...Somehow. So far this is an incredibly unrealistic Naruto OC you've got.

"His chakra control is perfect, although some of the chakra is unbalanced..." Then how is that considered perfect?

So, he's a master at genjutsu, incredibly skilled in taijutsu, a tokubetsu jonin, and he's a sensor... all at the age of 14.



Also, if you're going to ask me to help with your oc... Please have the entire page finished.

I apologize if any of this was offensive, but your oc either needs work or just needs to go onto a different wiki. I don't know what this thing is, but I don't like it.

--Shadowpuppy270343