Talk:Kaya Namikaze/@comment-5075684-20120620182906

'''I know you didn't ask for a critque, but it's better than someone going "OMG MARY-SUE ALERT!!11!" when they don't even tell you what's wrong with your OC. "Mary-sues/Gary stus" are not allowed here, which I'm afraid Kaya has some major "sue" qualities. You don't have to read through this or do what I say. But this wiki may be deleted by an admin due to violating the Mary Sue rule. However...'''

'''MAKE SURE THAT YOU CHECK THE LAST PARAGRAPH THOUGH, THE 'IMAGE 'YOU ARE USING IS A STOLEN PIECE OF ARTWORK OF A REAL ARTIST ON DEVIANTART. MAKE SURE YOU TELL THIS TO YOUR BROTHER, HE MAY NOT KNOWN DUE TO THE IDIOTS ON PHOTOBUCKET. THANK YOU.'''

skimmed through some of this, and I notice some major things here.

Abilities

Her stats are way too high in the 2nd and 3rd databook. I also read that she's " In part ll, Naruto and Kakashi noticed that she was a lot better than Tsunade or Jiraya and that it could clearly see that Kaya, was much more suitable for Hokage replace than Danzo, despite her age."

You really need to change that. 35.5 is the highest stats in the Naruto Databook, stats of that level should really only apply to major villains (Such as Itachi or Pein) or people with lots of experience (Such as Orochimaru, Tsunade, or Jiraiya). I would recommend taking out the stronger than Tsunade and Jiraya thing COMPLETELY out. Due to her “mastery” of Ninjutsu,Genjutsu, Taijutu and being titled ANBU, her stats should be fairly high. Despite that, her stats shouldn’t be no higher than 34.5. 34.5 is still a very high stat, which is the same as Kakashi. Keep in mind that Kakashi DOES have a Kekkei Genkai that was given to him by Obito. That helps him a lot with his stats. It seems that Kaya does not have a Kekkei Genkai, which may lower some of her stats. Sasuke is at 31.5, he has a Kekkei Genkai as well as Kakashi but with less experience than Kaya. Try to decide through 31-34 for her stats.

The mastery of Ninjutsu, Genjutsu, and Taijutsu is not realistic, for her age and without Kekkei Genkai. Itachi is an exception however, since of his Kekkei Genkai and good genes helped him master all three of those. If you want to use more of the “mastery” concept, you don’t really need to put all 5’s. Even 3.5 could be considered “above average”. This chart might help you -I kind of made it up =’D, though it’s probably really close-.

0 – 1.5: Below average  2- 3: Average 3.5 - 4: Above average 4.5: Talented 5: Gifted

If you still want that mastery concept to Kaya, you have to have some sort of flaws to balance them all out. For instance, she may practically mastered ninjutsu, genjutsu, and taijutsu, but her ability to perform these techniques numerous of times is hard for her because her chakra level isn’t very high. Or she’s not very fast, and if someone is faster than her, they could be able to prevent her to do hand signs by attacking her a lot. Or her vision is bad. SOMETHING to make her more balanced in her abilities, you could even add flaws to her personality to even out her abilities.

<span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">Time for the jutsu list. Chidori, Chidori based jutus, Lighting Cutter, Rasengan. Take them out; don’t use ‘signature’ jutsus from canon characters for your OC. Five of them she can’t even use like Chidori, Chidori Sebon, Chidori Sharp Spear or Lighting Cutter due to the fact that of the tunnel vision affects the jutsu performance, opponents can easily counter attack because of this drawback. Sasuke and Kakashi can overpower the drawback because of their Sharingan, which Kaya doesn’t have.

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">Part I/Relationships/Other

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">First thing I noticed, Kakashi and Kaya are both senseis of Team 7. Or what it seems like. Nope, not going to work either. Genin groups are only assigned one sensei. Give her a team of her own or not make her a sensei at all.

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">When I first saw her, she had the last name Kurama. Even though it was the same name as the 9-tailed fox, I don’t see why you changed to Namikaze like Minato… It would make your character more ‘original’ if you changed it to a last name to something not in the naruto fandom. ^^;

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">I also see that she’s almost a replica of Kakashi, which I see that in a lot of KakashixOC pairings… Such as his jutus, ANBU status(though it’s not really a big deal, lots of ninjas are/were ANBU’s), Part I storyline…

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">Lookie here! An edit of Osy057's work http://osy057.deviantart.com/gallery/?catpath=scraps#/dm2nfc (If it doesn't lead you to the actual picture, fourth pic in third row.) It just happens to be fliped the other way, your brother likes to edit, which is copyright infringement without permission. E<span style="font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:10pt;line-height:15.75pt;">dits are not allowed here without permission with the original artist, I doubt that he got permission from Osy057... Delete it. Her outfit is way too modern for the naruto universe too. Like the boots and the belt. Other than that, she’s very pretty~

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;">Hope this helps, if you read it....~