Talk:Gyabin/@comment-28602918-20160726000859

Added the DRAFT category, once your character page is completed you can change it to FINAL and add additional categories if you want. Till then you need to just have DRAFT.

I like the sound of your character and I particularly enjoy the way you have written throughout your page. (Sorry, I just have to give props when a page reads nicely. So well done :D)

My questions? Why did Kakashi teach him chidori? How did he learn the rasengan? How does he even know Kakashi well enough for this to happen? Though I guess those will be explained when you add his story to the page XD

Now, ability wise, the techniques are opposites chidori is a technique that requires high ability levels in nature manipulation while the rasengan is the epitome of shape manipulation. Now one can now both there is no reason, theoretically why that couldn't be the case. However as both techniques require a very high degree of chakra control which takes time and a lot of training to master. So what I would say is be careful on how you show he learnt them. Because if you make it seem easy, take little time, you might be edging towards Gary-stue territory.Also they must learn it from someone that knows each respective technique as other people do not know how this is performed. Again, this will depend on how you write his story.

What I would say really needs to go/be edited (I am commenting purely on what is written on the page so far since I don't know the story) is the whole dōjutsu, Hagoromo bit. Even for alien-human hybrids I doubt he would have any of those dōjutsu. Those come from the Ōtsutsuki clan and in the trivia you said his clan is not related to them. So a no go (in my opinion).

Also, the rinnegan can only be obtained through the joining of Ashura and Indra's chakra (to "reform" Hagoromo's chakra) so that can't happen. Not really unless you explain his relationship with the sage and the reason for the old man sharing his chakra with the boy. Take in account that you made him an Ame inhabitant. So wouldn't logic follow that Zetsu/Tobi/Nagato would know about him, his powers and Rinnegan? I doubt he would have had a peaceful Ame life.

You should also keep in mind that he is quite young, 15 and that is a lot to learn in such short amount of time. Spread it out over the years a bit more is what I would say. That is if your story allows that.

Frankly, I agree with KusaNin that the techniques you made are more than enough for him. If however your story requires he get the latter powers then I would recommend dropping all the other techniques.

I think it might be interesting to see this character grow, and I mean it since this is likely (about 90% confident) that this is the longest review I have ever written for any OC character.