Talk:Sara Derutakawa/@comment-26252910-20150719015430

An interesting idea, and certainly an original storyline, but I'm worried that you might have a few Mary Sue traits in there. For instance, this "Blue Sharingan" Clan. What exactly is their gekai genkai? I understand that the Sharingan is very tempting to use, but I also think that it would be better if you created an original bloodline limit, as canon doesn't leave much room for creativity where the Sharingan is concerned, so having Sarah be part of the "sister clan" of the Uchiha seems a little unrealistic, and not exactly necessary for the plot.

Also, perhaps you can work some faults into her personality or choices. Otherwise she'll become one of those too-perfect girls who can do no wrong, and that's just no fun to read about.

Apart from that though, good start. I hope you'll continue to work to improve and evolve your character. =)