Talk:Takashi Shizen/@comment-5053045-20121105230230

So far, pretty good! Very detailed and original; and although I dislike extreme detaildedness (lol that's not even a real word *^ -^*) I can't help but appreciate all this... ^^

Alright, onto the critique.

 Hey, I should let you know, this is all my onion  so even though you think I'm an expert (lol thx ;D) you shouldn't take all of my words to heart. Just take them into consideration.

Anyway....

 The background is good but just one thing that bugged me....Alright, I get that he might have already been talented as a ninja beforehand, but to transition from a Chunin (how DID he become Chunin? It says he lost, yet was able to be one anyway.  Could you add that please?  We don't want to confuse people.  ^3^)  to a Jonin in less than a year is....well, almost unbelievable   As far as I know. <(o-o)>

 His appearance: by "other side of his Konoha headband" do you mean the part where it (when I say 'it' I mean his Kiri headband,) can't be seen? Because I don't think the people of Konoha will appreciate one of their Jonin flashing off a symbol of respect for a different village, you know? As long as its hidden, that's fine. n_n

Abilities. Oh my....

First off dear, great power comes with great responsibility. I see that your character contains not only the Lightning Cutter, which is meant for Kakashi alone, but he also has Wood Release (Yamato only) Storm Release (Darui), Ice Release (Haku, Fubuki [ Naruto the Movie: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow,] and Nadare [also from " Naruto the Movie: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow"] ), Water Release, and Earth Release. He also seems to have the Rasengan which is only supposed to belong to Naruto (and also belonged to Jiriya and the 4th.)

 Um. If I were you, I would certainly abrogate (get rid of) anything that belongs to another ninja. That would be the Lighting Cutter, Chidori, Rasengan, Wood Release, Storm Release, and the Ice Release. He can keep the rest. Trust me dear, having Water Release and Earth Release is powerful enough for a Jonin.

 Again, you don't HAVE to. These are just my recommendations. ^^ And if you are desperate, I suppose you can keep the Storm Release, because Hiruko ( Naruto Shippūden 3: Inheritors of the Will of Fire) was able to use that too. And maybe even Ice Release, just not both Storm and Ice. X3

For Part 1....Wow, bring offered to be Hokage? I would normally tell people that is too much, but I can mentally picture that falling into place. X3 Leave it be, I suppose.

Everything else seems to be ok! :D Congratulations!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);">But one thing I would like to tell you; remember that this is Naruto's show! X3 Try not to get so detailed about your character.